What’s the difference: Family Addition

by  Mia Della Pietra (native New Yorker)

Mia teaches TOEFL Preparation and other courses at NYLC's Upper West Side location. She was born and raised in NYC and lived in Thailand for two years training Muay Thai (Thai boxing) and teaching English.  Now she enjoys meeting students from a wide variety of cultures and backgrounds and loves finding the humor in the challenges of learning English. In her free time, she watches mixed martial arts, hangs out with her two cats, and eats as much boxed macaroni and cheese as she can.   

What’s the difference...

Families are complex, and sometimes it can be difficult to distinguish how to describe the various relationships that exist within them.  Here are some similar but not quite the same expressions and vocabulary to help you navigate your family descriptions!

Take after / look like

The difference between take after and look like is a major one.  Looking like your family has to do with physical appearance.  If your face is similar to your mother’s, than you look like your mother.  Taking after someone has to do with your personality or behavior.  If you are a doctor, and your grandfather was a doctor, then you take after him.  If you love spicy food, and so does your father, then you take after him. 

On my mother’s side / From my mother

Does your mother have curly hair?  Do you have curly hair?  In that case you could say, “I got my curly hair from my mother.”  We use this phrase for traits directly passed down from our mothers.  This can be for physical traits or personality.  You can also get a love of Star Wars and an appreciation of French food from your mom.  “On my mother’s side” is used to describe traits that your mother’s entire family has passed to you.  For example “I am German, on my mother’s side,” or “I have heart disease on my mother’s side.” 

Partner / Spouse

There are lots of different kinds of partners.  Business Partners, dance partners, and romantic partners!  Partner is a word that has an interesting history.  Before gay marriage was legalized in the United States, most homosexual couples would use it to describe their “life partner” or “domestic partner” which was the legal definition of their relationship.  Now partner has become more neutral, being applied to homosexual and hetersexual relationships.  The difference between a partner and a spouse is that you are legally married to your spouse, but the word partner just describes a serious, long term relationship, not necessarily a legal marriage to the person.  Both spouse and partner are gender neutral terms. 

Test yourself!

1. My __________________ and I have been living together for 5 years, but we aren’t married. 
2. I get my love of action movies __________________.  My mother and I always go to the movies together during the holidays! 
3. My mother __________________ her mother, they’re both lawyers. 
4. My __________________is from Florida, and we have been married for 3 years. 
5. My sister really __________________ me, sometimes people get confused about who they are talking to! 
6. I’m Brazilian __________________ but my father’s family is from Mexico.